понеделник, 10 март 2008 г.

First Sunday before Lent


Good evening!

Today it has been the First Sunday before Lent... I don't know where else this day is also connected with the tradition to ask forgiveness from friends and family, but for sure we have it... And we followed the tradition again and again.... as we were always doing so...

I'd like to say it also here, because there are so many people i need to beg for forgiveness... Forgive me and may God forgive us all too!.. Amen! Kisses!:)

One more thing... miracles- they don't exist! They don't happen! Not with little Eden ;) for sure ;)
I tried! i really tried! i prayed, i hoped, i wished, i restricted myself, i hold the lines and gave up pleasures of life... What else? What else could be done? When something is not written to happen.. maybe no kind of emitted positive energy does help... And i am tired. And disappointed, you know... Disappointed.. I thought i was communicating with a human being.. Actually- just a wall made by stones.. Infatti!

5th, 6th, 7th and 8th of March 2007 were ones of the happiest days in my life. It was a period of time when we changed a lot of things around us and i was so extremely devoted to my heart and loving, so happy of not pretending and of not wearing masks... I was flying with brand new wings of a perverted freedom. I don't feel sorry for those great moments. I know now how a lady deserves to be treated, how a real gentleman may act with her, how communication between male and female human beings can be in a so different level, so large, so perspective!...A male and a female can use one and the same language!!! They may even speak just the language of the gestures! Just a smile or a kiss, or a simple touch of a breath.. And hours of plenty topics discussed! And all with heads in mountain clouds... I had those static moments of a fairy tale.. I really had them! Sometimes i doubt it happened. You know, when something is so beautiful, Your eyes cant bear the vision and close.. When time goes, beautiful memories get pale and fragile, but even more precious than before, cause... with the time passing You begin to wonder- did it really happened? or it was just a dream? But the feeling inside warms You up and tiny traces reminds You of it..as a smell of a deo or a melody of a song, a picture or a t-shirt...

Few days ago Iluminada wrote me (cause we were chatting on our phones for months...) - "i deleted almost all of my phone messages..I kept only 10 of them.." Smile, my beautiful one! She was keeping her messages for to remind her her fairy love story really happened, even though covered with the ashes of time... And so do i. But still have no strength to delete the memories. And why should i?What are we without our memories? They build us as persons, they keep us trying, they hold us alive! i cant deny my happiness, my sadness,my failures, my games.. They are part of me. I forgive, but never forget.. And once a friend, i am a friend forever..
A For everything i am thankful.

On 9th March my lovely friend Iluminada has a birthday:) I wish to greet her again from here and to wish her eternal use of love drugs, cause everybody deserves that masochistic addiction ;) and to say i love her so!

Yours, Eden {in love drug abstinence}

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