петък, 25 януари 2008 г.

Euridice


They told me- forget! don't call! don't write! don't humiliate yourself anymore! He doesnt deserve you! if You give Him even one more sign of your love, He would just tell to Himself - "again this irritating slut!"! Do you want someone to think about you like this? To treat you like this? More of this humiliation?!!
He betrayed you at your birthday! Only this is enough for never to return to this page! Do you like to be humiliated?!! Are you sane? Dig out just a piece of dignity, if you please!

But what is "humiliation"? What is "offence"? "Insult"?
NOTHING! Noone can humiliate me or to insult me if not me to accept it and allow it, only! And why? As my favourite philosopher and writer Berdiaev says - i can never be insulted or humiliated, just because everything good in me is given to me by God, and everything bad is my own mistake, my own false... The only one that can offend me indeed is me only...

Do You know the legend about Orpheus and Euridice? Nice one... For those of You who don't remember it, i promise i will retell it soon, so, take a look over here from time to time, cause You could miss it;) And it is maybe the best fairy tale for the real love, the devoted one..when you are forgetting yourself, but he/she is also forgetting him/herself too for one another...


As it is said- a woman doesn't need any other name, just one- to be named by Him "Euridice"

Lot of kisses, Eden!

вторник, 22 януари 2008 г.

"Happiness is a fragile stock, take care of it"

This message i received today along with the cappuccino. It was written by Edith Worton.. I dont know who she is, but the "cliche" she wrote is, as most of the clishes - correct with the whole absurdity in it... :(

I remember one of the happiest moments in my life... it was at the beginning of March, when the winter is still not going away and the spring is still not arriving.. When You feel the smell of the burned wood, coming from the chimneys, mixed with the frosty fresh mountain air... I was on the balcony, smelling the nature, staring at the white snowy peaks of Vitosha, hugging the small village where we are at.. It's night, about midnight, and i am staying there, hearing the wind feeling the cold on my bare skin... Then He called me inside and i entered the apartment, where it was warm and cosy, the sprigs in our private fireplace are burning... i was able to hear the cracks, coming from the dancing flames.. It was also dark in the rooms, only the lights from the fire.. but i saw Him, i was feeling Him, no matter it was dark... He was the other half of my heart... how is it possible not to feel where the other half of your heart is?
I smiled at Him in the darkness and slowly approached Him. He touched the couch just next to the place he was sitting and i followed the gesture.. I lied there, putting my head on His lap, feeling His strokes and caresses...
At that uneventful, calm moment i was felt so happy, i was just pouring with it, i was shining, we were shining together..just the two of us, warming our naked bodies at the fire...

But everything is so fragile..
And none of us can live in an imaginative world..
Life is there and the only thing we can afford for sometimes is just to escape it for a while...

Yours, a fragile stock

четвъртък, 17 януари 2008 г.

a long, long day :)

Good evening! :)

It's been a long day today! Really! i woke up early in the morning, went to the ministry of Justice for to apply for the state practice in the Court. There i accidentally met a good friend of mine - Mila and it was so nice to see her - i haven't seen her for maybe 2 months.. but we all had a business to do;) After few tiny probs there, in the administration, i applied finally and then i was on my way to made photos for the diploma...
You know that we all are supposed to look nice and well, personable, worldly at those photos for personal documents, but it's a hard work and You never know if You're gonna look nice indeed at them.. So, i decided to spare my time somewhere else and to use old negatives for those so needed pics.. Ok, a great idea;) But it was made 3-4 years ago and the photographer actually made a pic 9/13 and then cut the facial part.. And now people were just canceling my order, cause the machineries are now different.. After walking up and down here and there, i found a professional, who finally did what i was asking.. at last! And it was all worthy! :) So, tomorrow Your Eden is about to go to the university and apply for The Juridical Diploma! :)
After the lovely searching i met Mishe, another lovely friend of mine, had a cup of caffee for few minutes and i went to the Parliament, where, after 6 months, i met the Boss :)
She was quite surprised to see me, cause she was thinking i gave up with the pro bono law researches, but i just needed to remind her about the state exams and she, with a soft smile informed me immediately about the new projects. She also told me that there was an awesome interest over the project i was working during the summer in the Parliament. For those, who are interested- the law research was mainly about the administrations, organization, budgets and PR relationships in Parliaments of the countries-members of the EU. i was researching about France and her Assamblee National and Senat.
So, Jeni (the Boss), told me, that they were especially interested in my own research and the stuff i found and published and also they put pieces of my work in the new law... Well... it might be pro bono work in the hot summer, but i felt really content with the fact that at my age my work was built up in a working law! :)
Well, let's go back on Earth;)
I asked about new projects and soon i'll be a participant in at least one of the new projects... Cross fingers to pick up countries with cool sites in English;) cause with the Italian language course i am so confused with my French, that i am really forgetting it.. Sadly and badly!
After the Parliament i went straight to the Library, where i didn't studied, but i finished the strange book i was reading. The name of this book is "Histoire d'O" and it's not really recommended by me.. It's a strange book and i need some day for to be able to talk about it, cause is till don't know what i could comment and what i actually understood of it, and even what my opinion is. But a really strange book, that makes You blush all the time, even though it is supposed to be a classic.. But "Decameron" is also supposed to be classic and also makes us all to blush :D
After finishing the book and a glance over the new words, i went out of the library, because i had an appointment with Mishe for a fast shopping tour! And we did it! I have few so sweet things;) clothes, of course;) But i know that girls' talks about clothes are boring, so, i wont torture You with dissection of the new toys ;) One more think- i am up-down satisfied;)
Well...it was a so long day and i feel so sleepy. And tomorrow i have to wake up early, so, please, excuse me, but it's time to leave You now.

Have fun!

Лека нощ, деца! :)

Yours, Eden

вторник, 15 януари 2008 г.

Ah, Broadway, Broadway!

Salve! :)

Tonight i had a wonderful evening in the theater @lma@lter! I saw the musical play , called "Ah, Broadway, Broadway"! My brother was also participating in it as an actor. So, the excitement was double, cause i was given the role of the video and photo maker... Well... it was really nice, but i officially swore not to tell what i saw there, so... just accept the recommendations, and if You have opportunity- go and see it :) it's a lot of fun there

Now, sweet dreams! Take my hand and we'll meet in a place that's only ours! Kisses!

Your, Eden

P.S.

I was thinking about the inner collars - those collars we wear inside us... Is the feeling of loving someone a kind of a collar, of a sign of belonging to someone? As a possession? Or a reserved table in a restaurant? And which is the best way to get rid of the inner collars? One day i'll think about it.. if You have any suggestions, please, share :)

неделя, 13 януари 2008 г.

am i a legend?

Buonasera!

How's life going?
I am trying for two days to put on a video, but no success:(
Maybe it takes too much time, which i usually don't have, even though i am in a constant day off.. I'll try tomorrow again, and if not, i'll find another way to do it;0 But i realy want to share them with You, cause they are really funny and full with the expressions.. and emotions :) An i was so happy at that moment that wish everyone to see my happiness... cause, strangely or not, even now, after all that happened, i still have my moments of happiness and the wish to share it with You..cause...what is happiness without anyone to share it with?

But is it enough just to share it with someone? Anyone? What about someone, who doesnt love you, who doesnt care, who even hate You? Who makes You cry and hearing your sobs, just says-" ah, you, bimbo, you just make me feel so low!" and then, You, the victim, feel bad, cause all the guilt is now recognized as your own burden?! What kind of a human being would You be to hate someone, cause he/she just loves You? And will accuse him/her for the tears, the hopes, the humiliation even?

As one friend of mine told me recently, answer means giving a hope. And when a person takes a rational decision, nothing is possible to turn him/her back to you.. Nothen. Nothing?..but... when your body needs that person, when your heart beats with his, when your soul reaches out and touches faith.. Brain is there as a super hero - Xena and Hercules in an union... just to save you and to supply your mental and physical needs...

An, o, God, thank You for the Brain! cause Brain is a gorgeous and precious thing, so particular, so, incredible! even divine! It gives us everything- just to give us calmness and peace, cause everyone need a shelter from the storms. And Brain is the great architect of every and each shelter- just make a wish and the good genie inside your skull will provide you all you need!

But this is another topic i will tell You some other time..

Tomorrow again i have to wake up early because of the lezione...

i am really sleepy, but just wanted to come here and be with You for a while, just because i was feeling a lil sad... i watched the movie "I am legend". as all these movies when mankind is coming to its end, You always go out of the hall with heavy heart, salted face and red eyes..pretending to be sleepy or bored.. It's not my way, i never hide;0 and maybe that's the general mistake in my life :) as a friend of mine once told me- never show your heart.. but how not to cry when poor Samantha died in the hug of her master and companion? It happens so all the time. I know. And i knew that even before. But the tears just poured out and began to fall down my face in the anonymous darkness of the cinema... But stop! no tears anymore! i am holding my Puh , sweet pet and lil kid, and feel his warmth and happiness, being in a secure place with people who care about him... And it gives such strength..

Once i asked a man- which pet You would choose if You have to choose - the cat pet or the woman pet? And i felt his struggle... He chose the woman, but now the cat (by the name of Spillo) is still there, and the woman(by the name of "part of the statistics") is gone....

This time it's really time for bed...

I want to greet from here Mih-Mih, a lovely friend of mine, who had a birthday yesterday.. and just want to tell her, that i really love her and will always be her friend indeed :P

Buonanotte!

Yours, Eden

петък, 11 януари 2008 г.

Snow scene of faery


Hello, Everyone!

Happy New Year! i wish You All the best! And i am blowing a lot of kisses to all of you, who loved me, love me and will love me! I love you too!

And please, accept my apology for not writing her for days, but i was really not able to be here, with You... the new year parties, the beginning, the relaxation after the parties;), problems, tasks, things to be done... I have so much to tell You... But i promise i'll write every day:) and all not told will be told very soon;)

Remind me later to tell You about my dream..or nightmare which i had on 31st December..

Now, i'll show You what me, my brother and a friend of us did at about 3am on 2nd January, when Sofia was just buried under tones of wonderful snow;)

See the pics, tomorrow i'll put also videos ;)

Now, it's time to go and sleep, cause tomorrow i have to wake up early for to go to the court and then to the library, for i have hundreds of words to learn for the course of Italian i am attending in the weekends...

Later!

Kisses!

Yours, Eden

at the beginning of the adventure;) still smiling, not freezing
have You tried it? it's nice to lay n the snow..
another "shot"

Sofia at snowy night.. going back home

a scene of faery ;)

a calm night street

trying to move the frozen toes..