Have You ever tasted it? A wonderful Bloody Mary, but without the sinful ingredient. That is alcohol ;) And yes, sinful! Because we are still in Lent for Easter and alcohol is also forbidden.. ;)
And since Your Eden wishes throughly to whiten her soul :) She follows some of the rules of the Lent :) And dont ask why tonight i had a dream of sinning with a bar of chocolate!!! ;)
Anyway.... few days left.. Tomorrow..or today even (cause it is quite late and i was supposed to be already in bed, cause tomorrow morning i have to be at the notary house, because i have a practice to do there) Christ was crucified and bleeding, suffering, He sacrificed Himself for the goodness of all humans.. and the purity of our souls...
This reminds me of a play i saw few years ago on @lma @lter scene. Its name was "Is Jesus a suicide?". Sadly, really sadly that they had probs with the Church and not play it anymore..
As far as i remember, the author was a young boy, at my age. When i was watvhing the play,listening to the text of the actors, feeling their emotions, i was thinking- this is me, this is me! those thoughts are my thoughts! I was about to cry! And at the end (not the original one, because the director stopped the play before the original end even two time.. the reason we were told, was that they stopped being actors. he changed 2 different crews that evening and none of them finished the play.. ), when i saw that the author was a boy of my age, i just understood why i felt his thoughts as mine.. i still remember them... I will try to translate it, but please, dont kill me for the coming translation. I am just a girl, not a poetess.
Here they are:
Колко смирени хора има!
How submissive people come into being!
И все още се раждат такива!
And they persevere to come into being!
И все още се раждат!
Still come into being!
Не знаят ли, че след миговете на непокорство
Aren't they aware of it, that after the moments of disobedience
и гордост не следва смирение, а безразличие…
and pride not submission comes, but indifference
безразличие към самия себе си, към собствената
indifference for your own self, for your own destiny,
ти съдба, нежелание да бъдеш повече,
the wish for not to be anymore,
оголван, вътрешно разсъблечен чак до необикновено
naked, stripped inside till the incredibly delicate
тънките нишки на инстинктите за самосъхранение
fibre of the self preservation instincts..
Е, моли се, хайде, моли се!
Well.. beg me! Come on! Beg me!
Да видиш колко е лесно да се молиш!
let's see how easy it is to beg!
И се смей! Тогава, когато аз ти кажа!
And laugh! laugh just at the moment when i tell you to!
Признанието, че си слаб е много
The acceptance that you are weak is so much
Повече от усещането, че си силен.
more than the feeling of being strong.
Слабостта се превръща в сила,
weakness turns into strength
Когато я осъзнаеш, когато я признаеш.
when you realize it, when you accept it..
Maybe the quotations arent 100% correct, but i was just a visitor there.. And i hope the author is not gonna kill, if one they he could see my midnight translations and quotations.. *blushing*
My confession that am just in love with him and his play, i hope, will help me and make him merciful towards this one O;)
In a conclusion.. i would like to say that we never know if, when, how, by whom a 2nd chance could be given to us!
As the Virgin Mary to sin into a Blooding Mary;
as the white silk kajira to become a red silk with the fascinating ritual of the goreans;
as the son of God sacrificing His mortal body for others' immortal souls
as the doc, looking up at your face, saying - congrats! A 2nd chance!;
as God and Mother Nature giving you an unique feminine protection for a new beginning, a second chance!
What would You do if You had a second chance?
Would You waste it with the first one? or to wait for the aliens of hypothetical planets and galaxies, of imaginative realms?
Will You sin?
And aren't the sins just our own excuses?
Is there a most severe punishment than the lack of punishment?
What i can say for my second chance is... Thank You, God! And be with me! Let me be what You want me to be!