сряда, 6 февруари 2008 г.

Impossible You, Impossible Me...

Bonsoir, mes amis!

The problems with my monitor are just getting more and more complicating.. i don't know when and if i am going to be able to use the pc on the next day.. But, as people say, the essence of life is in the unknown situations... :)

Last days i am completely ruined from the early kicking-out-of-the-bed, the lack of caffee and the tones of new words, rules, grammar and etc... Finally the practice in the court has begun! And obviously those of You , who know me well, know that i am a night person and i usually never wake up early in the morning.. Well.. now i have to do it cause if i want to have time for studying italian and also fulfilling the practice at the court, i have to go in the mornings there and in the afternoons- in the library.. bad thing is that i quited the cigs and also the caffee, and the sweets... The result is that today Your Eden just laid her head on the desk and fell asleep.. for some minues, indeed, but!!!

So, as an official report of my own experiment, data is: 2nd week- missing caffee the most, then the 4th pleasure, then the cigs, and at last- the sweets.

For an award i went by my own at a the theatre and again i watched the play of @lma@lter, called "Impossible You, impossible Me".. The two actresses are Snejka and Petia. I am watching this play for a 5th time i believe and i still like it.. :) It is a nice one and i really recommend it by all my heart! It is a nice place to forget about your problems, to "touch" other people's positive energy, to mix up with joyful souls... And i don't understand the principle that we always have to go at the theatre in couples! Why? Last months i used to go and watch plays by my own... Do i need someone else for to have pleasure of the play? Of course no! As if to say that the only place to talk with God is the Chirch.. No, of course. So, i enjoy the plays alone, and i feel even better.. For when i go there with someone else, i am always thinking- if He/She is gonna like the play which i chose, and so and so... When i choose it by my own, the only obligation is with me only;)

I guess the lonely life of a single girl turns me into an egoist..

I spent the previous week at home, with a book, brought by Oggi, whom i thank so much. The book is one of the novels of John Norman. Obviously this author is widely famous out of Bulgaria. He is the author f the Gorean saga, fantasy genre of literature, of which saga i have 4 books :) The first one was even translated in Bulgarian and it is called "Tarnsman of Gor". The one i rad 2-3 times during the last week was completely different from the first one.. The book i am talking about is called "Slave girl of Gor" and even though it is an awkward story with a weird elations in there, i may say that this is THE ultimative love story! The most painful and hurting love story i have ever read about.. It made me even cry at some pages, which is a lot...for a fantasy genre! After reading it i felt devastated.. I don't know why.. Maybe i saw a piece of me there.. It's always like this- the things we love and hate the most are just those in which we recognize ourselves and nothing more...

This book also made me remember the bitter sweet lesson.. That if something doesnt work, no matter how strongly You try, it is just not meant to work.. The same with the people we meet. If a relationship with someone didn't work, no matter how much You tried to save it, how much You sacrificed, evidently he wasn't the right guy ;) Or maybe He was the right guy but not in the right moment and the right time, the right life even! As the heroine of the book - Dina and her lover- Clitus Vitellius (i won't comment the names;)) He felt he began to care of her, to love her and He left her at the mercy of Destiny... Just because he was afraid that the love for a girl would make the Strong Warrior too submissive, i guess... After years, after tones of accidents they met again and he again left her helpless... Just when She got used to that :D He appeared and accepting His feelings, let them be together, accepting the fears... I guess.. men are much more into tkaing rational decisions than are women.. Just compare the levels of emotions, the content of hormones of stress, and You will understand that We, the ladies, we are just unable to listen the mind when the heart is talking.. And maybe this is our charm and our virtue at all! Who can say for sure?! ;)

At the end - Dina and her Warrior stopped running away from the fears and faced them... They were meant to be together.. And maybe we all are meant to be together with those we broke with.. just not here, not now, not in this life and century... But one day, on this or on the other side, we'll be together again, happy together, as one whole.. :) And there will be no secrets between us, just two hearts beating as one.


Yours, Eden

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